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My First Slice of Life Challenge

I like how WordPress used the quote by Oscar Wilde, “Be Yourself. Everyone Else is Taken” in the “My First Blog Post” sample block. I got a kick out of that. I have that poster hanging in my classroom for inspiration for my soon-to-be-or-already-there angst-y pre-teens. I believe in it in theory. The real question is, do I live it?

https://twowritingteachers.org/challenges/

Do I live by this quote or am I too riddled by fear of judgement? Do I really feel like I’m free to be myself all the time? No. Of course not. I am one person when I swipe my badge over the sensor. The sound of that beep is almost like a switch in my brain– time to be teacher. At the end of the day, when I take off my teacher bag and hang it on my rearview mirror, I become me, possibly real me, glancing into that mirror and noticing new wrinkles or worn out looking eyes or that grey that’s getting out of control. My mind begins racing with questions: how did that Social Studies lesson really go? Brian looked bored. Madison didn’t even look up. The teaching assistants in the room actually looked like they were falling asleep. I’m a terrible teacher. What am I doing with my life?

This continues all the way home until I pull into our driveway and make my way up our windy sidewalk to the swoosh of the front door opening. “Hello? Anyone home?” Now, I’m mom. My 17 and 15 year old are probably up in their rooms, decompressing, probably doing homework, possibly going through their own days and judging it their choices, their looks or their performance. And the cycle continues.

I want to be the teacher that my students admire and look up to. I want to be the mom my children emulate and want to be like. Sometimes, I just want to not be the real me: the one who criticizes everything I say and do in my head all the time. I truly don’t remember a time when I didn’t do that. I want to be free to marry the three (even though there are more!) personas I just described: teacher, mother, me and be free to express all of them together. I try and show my students that I too am a learner. I’m never done learning. I read along with them. And now, I will write along with them.

I’m looking forward to my first ever Slice of Life challenge and wondering where it will take me.

  1. I’m missing your voice these days. Don’t let a few missed days keep you from coming back & blogging some…

  2. I read your warning and still clicked on the link anyway. Your journey of thought about paying for college tuition…

8 thoughts on “Home

  1. First of all, I’m proud of you for joining your first SOL challenge! You’re going to love it!! This community is amazing. 🙂 Secondly, you are too hard on yourself. I’m sure that for everything you think isn’t perfect or could have gone better, there are 10 things that went amazingly well and your kids (both your kids and your students) think you are the best! Here’s hoping you have a great month of writing, reflecting, and growing!

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  2. “ Students are not trees that stand as silent sentinels while attention is devoted to meeting the needs of one, but that one must sometimes take priority.”
    What you wrote is so eloquent.
    I, too, worry about all of the other kids in classes whose needs aren’t being met because attention is being paid to the few who need the most. It is common for this to happen, but it doesn’t mean it should. I like how you’re thinking about what’s best for all kids.

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  3. Welcome! How exciting to be a first-time slicer! I’m glad that I found your blog today. Ah, the inner voice of nonstop criticism. I can relate! (Have you ever figured out your Enneagram type? You sound like an Enneagram 1, and it’s exhausting to be in our heads all the time!) Of course, the good news is that I think that inner voice pushes us to keep learning and growing and figuring out ways to do better, and I do like that part of it.

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  4. The idea of being in our head every moment of every day is exhausting and sometimes annoying. I loved how you expressed your need to marry all three personas (I’m stealing that phrase!!). I often wonder if being in your head all day makes me ultra reflective or a crazy over-thinker, and I don’t remember being this much in my head as a child!

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  5. Welcome to the Challenge! Ah, the goal of silencing the inner critic… it can be so hard! I’ll be around this month to support you as you face the challenge of hitting “publish” every day. It’s always interesting to see what our brains produce (or don’t produce!) as the month goes on. Also – that picture! I love it! Where are you from?

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